CONTINGENCY

Hello, my name is Wordsworth and I narrate this game. This rogue-like is full of great, fast paced action strategy and horrible, stomach quivering smells. You might pee green for a while. You’ll start playing to see what can happen but you’ll keep coming back to hear me talk about it all. The tale I have for you is of a heroic, although pungent lad who crash lands on a foreign planet while on a cargo mission through deep space. He needs your help to survive until his rescue ship arrives. Finding food will be the simple part, because the stress of surviving alone manifests as hallucinations of deadly demons. You’ll need to help the lad deal with his past to overcome his demons and get home. Features! Combat will butt-slap you hard and fast (I heard you like that) with a huge variety of nasty demons to duel. I give each demon a nasty nickname, too. Besides me, the sexiest part of the ordeal are suit and weapon upgrades. Upgrades unlock almost as fast as catching space diarrhea and each unlock is an exercise in choosing key strategy. Randomly generated dungeons are fresh and clean every run, while also being dirty and dank as dungeons should be. The Music is a kinky romance between retro ear sensations and dance tracks that only handsome people listen to. The best part is that each track is randomly generated and given a loving title by me.